date: 4June, 1.06am
drinking: healthy, le eau.
eating: Chips.
mood: Content.
listening: I wanna touch you - All American Rejects.
reading: "How to get Things Done, without trying too hard" by Richard Templar.
random: hehe Kai is so fuccccccking cute.
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27 November 2009
A Little Bit, a Little Bit
I must say, I'm pretty pissed...
Being bumped to second place is fucking horrible. Like what the fak, I hate it when, your oh so close to someone, and then BAM another person comes in the picture and feel like your pushed to the side. Gadddd, replacements are so annoying, like HELLO, I'm still here, I'M STILL ALIVE OK. It's normal, obviously, to get new friends but even if I am acting selfish or immature or whatever about this... I can't stand you being so close. When I fully know that I was always first. BUT, its even more annoying and irritable, when you continuously talk to me about that person. Like shut the fuck up, I already know, and knowing that they are going to become your first is annoying. CLEARLY, I am jealous. CLEARLY, I am pissed. CLEARLY, I am not important enough as to be informed first anymore.. god just shut the fuck up already. Jealousy always gets the best of me *sigh*. I wonder when I'll get over this, cause I seriously hate feeling like this.. I want to tare your face off, and the other. I just hate it that I considered you my first, but now I'm just the second. Even though true friends don't have a number.. I have that insecurity of being the last to know now.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS
-> ignorance forever
-> confrontation
-> lie
-> pretend Im ok
I wonder what I would do without you, but, then again I wonder how I'll continue to tolerate you and this new....state/.... omg I can't faking believe it.
At the very same time, I hate you, but I love you..
Being bumped to second place is fucking horrible. Like what the fak, I hate it when, your oh so close to someone, and then BAM another person comes in the picture and feel like your pushed to the side. Gadddd, replacements are so annoying, like HELLO, I'm still here, I'M STILL ALIVE OK. It's normal, obviously, to get new friends but even if I am acting selfish or immature or whatever about this... I can't stand you being so close. When I fully know that I was always first. BUT, its even more annoying and irritable, when you continuously talk to me about that person. Like shut the fuck up, I already know, and knowing that they are going to become your first is annoying. CLEARLY, I am jealous. CLEARLY, I am pissed. CLEARLY, I am not important enough as to be informed first anymore.. god just shut the fuck up already. Jealousy always gets the best of me *sigh*. I wonder when I'll get over this, cause I seriously hate feeling like this.. I want to tare your face off, and the other. I just hate it that I considered you my first, but now I'm just the second. Even though true friends don't have a number.. I have that insecurity of being the last to know now.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS
-> ignorance forever
-> confrontation
-> lie
-> pretend Im ok
I wonder what I would do without you, but, then again I wonder how I'll continue to tolerate you and this new....state/.... omg I can't faking believe it.
At the very same time, I hate you, but I love you..